For a long time, I’ve wanted to write more about spirituality and emotional wellbeing, but something was holding me back.
What will they think? What will they say? They’re all going to think I’m some crazy chick who’s into vibrations and stuff that isn’t real!
For so long, I’ve been letting my passions pass me by while I sit on the sidelines, just trying to seem more “normal.” I’ve been watering down my interests just to make other people happy, or compromising on things that are important to me just because of that dreaded “S” word, “should.”
Over the past couple of months, though, I’ve been working towards changing my thinking around work, life and wellbeing so I can come into my own and create the life I want, not the life someone else thinks I should have. I’ve been reworking my mental attitude and practicing independent thought, sovereignty and inner strength.
I still have a long way to go, and I often find myself falling back into the same patterns of biting my nails over someone else’s opinion or altering who I am to fit their perspective. But we’re all in this together, so today I’m sharing a few things I’ve learned along the way with you in hopes that you’ll feel a little more happy, light and free to be who you are:
1. You’ll never be rewarded for conforming, taking orders, or living someone else’s life. Although the pressure to be and do and live a certain life is real (especially in your twenties), you’ll never achieve true happiness or fulfillment if you settle for someone else’s version of a great life. Whether it’s your parents, your boss, or your friends, people will always try to tell you what to do based on their expectations of what is acceptable, but if you follow their rules, how will you ever come into your own? Lovingly accept advice and constructive criticism from others, but ultimately, choose your own path. Listen to your heart and follow what you truly love.
Following others just because you feel like you “should” or because you’re afraid of doing something crazy will only lead to unhappiness later down the road. If I can rename my blog That Spiritual Chick while hundreds of people I know from high school and past jobs are watching, then you can do whatever you want, too. Let me tell you, I was scared to death when I started making changes like this, but I finally feel like I’m on my path instead of someone else’s and it’s so freeing.
2. Taking advice from others is usually counterproductive (especially if their advice is negative or defeatist). Obviously, listen to their words carefully and respectfully, and ask yourself if it’s at all true before you chuck it out the window. Even the harshest words can sometimes be messengers of higher wisdom that we need to hear. However, the opinions of others aren’t the be-all, end-all. Years ago, I didn’t know the meaning of taking everything with a grain of salt. If someone said something to me about my career or my diet or any other aspect of my life, I would literally drop everything and do what that person said to do, no matter who it was. I didn’t know that I could choose to stay strong in my beliefs and let their words roll off my shoulders. I thought, ‘well, if someone tells me that journalism is a dying industry and I shouldn’t go into it, then they’re absolutely right and there’s no possibility of the opposite being true.’ But if you honestly took every single person’s opinion that seriously, where the hell would you get in life? Think of it in terms of diet: if you listened to all the vegans, all the keto people, all the paleo people, and everyone else who has an opinion about food (aka everyone these days) you wouldn’t be left with too many foods to eat. It’s physically impossible to listen to everybody, so why are you trying? Do your own research, tap into your own intuition, and live your life according to your inner wisdom. The universe will reward you!
3. People are only ever coming from their perspective. When someone judges you, criticizes you, labels you, or talks down to you, it *literally* has nothing to do with you. It’s very hard for anyone to look at another person and their life objectively. Everyone has been conditioned by their pasts, their parents’ beliefs, their upbringing, etc., so when someone tells you something about yourself, it’s rarely about yourself, it’s about their image of you or the world that they’ve created over a lifetime of experiences. So when someone tells you that it’s impossible for you to achieve your dreams because “that industry is so hard to get into” or that your business idea is dumb and will never get off the ground, it has nothing to do with you or your business idea, it’s about them and what they have perceived so far in their life and experience. People aren’t necessarily seeing you or your life for what it is, they’re seeing the exterior image of a package that they’ve projected thoughts, beliefs and opinions onto.
4. Usually, when you think everyone’s judging you, they’re barely thinking about you. Sorry, this one will burst your ego’s bubble, but honestly, people are so enthralled in their own lives that they don’t have much time to sit there and dissect yours. I can’t find the quote anywhere (so maybe I just dreamed it, lol) but I believe it was Sandra Oh in some movie who said, “I’m going to tell you the most freeing thing you’ll ever hear in your life. No one cares what you do.” Doesn’t that feel good?
Be present and listen to others with respect and care and love, but please don’t take their opinions to heart, especially if they’re coming from a place of fear. Stay strong in who you are and who you’re becoming, and you will be rewarded with abundance, love, and freedom.
How do you let go of other people’s opinions? Let me know in the comments below!